Table 3 “Emerging disability and the problem of uncertainty” quotations and themes

Burden

“I got down a lot as well because I had to have so long off work it was six months. So I was on statutory sick pay and having to claim rent rebate and stuff, it were a nightmare to me … it’s statutory sick pay 29 pound a week so I mean what’s that when your rent’s 96? So the finances things got me. I had to go into my overdraft and that’s something I just don’t, you know that’s your rainy day money. Because living on your own you do live hand to mouth, you don’t have savings, but I can still stand on my own two feet, pay all my bills and buy all my stuff what I need, so that’s why I work every Sunday, to make sure I can do that but of course, for six months there were none of that.” Hazel (1)

“Well you have to rely on other people don’t you? [Yeah] When you’re stuck with a brace on your leg, it’s like having a broken leg in a, in a cast for a year isn’t it? [Yep] Yeah, you are dependent on everyone really.” Delia (2)

“As you can imagine, lots of things you can’t do, for one thing I couldn’t drive a car for a year” Delia (2)

Antibiotic therapy

“Actually I wasn’t too bad, I mean some people have lots of side effects but I was, I was alright.” Delia (2)

“I think I lost about a stone and a half in weight [laughter] [mmm]. I really felt ill [yeah, yeah]. Erm, that was the thing I didn’t like about it and erm... but it did the trick” Shirley (2)

“When this doctor came in and said you should be able to go home tomorrow he came back to tell me I couldn’t because I had to stay on these antibiotics again. Now this was three weeks and I was actually crying and saying I really can’t deal with this diarrhoea and stuff and nobody would tell me ‘why have I got to keep having them?’.” Hazel (1)

Trust

“When he [surgeon], when he said, ‘I think I might have to go in and have another look,’ I knew what he meant. It’s going to be a revision. [hmm] And I thought, ‘He’s, he’s not going to do this. If it’s - if I’ve got to have it done again I’m not letting him touch me.’” Louisa (1)

“Trust them? [Yeah] Because we think they know, don’t we? We think they’re wise.” Pam (1)

“I have been through it over the last seven years, believe you, me but this last knee, so far, has been brilliant. [Surgeon] knows what he’s doing.” Harry (1)

“I really felt that he was doing his best for me, I really did, you know, I thought so much of him, I had so much confidence in him, the way he dealt with everything … it was quite incredible actually, he was so good on that, erm, that, er, that I didn’t query anything. I was just in his hands, I put myself in his hands.” Derek (1)

“I found an absolutely brilliant surgeon and I wouldn’t go anywhere else, wouldn’t go anywhere else, if he won’t do I’ll stick without [yeah] because I trust him.” Winston (1)

Two-stage revision

“Well film someone who’s – who’s had that surgery in – in its – in its different stages, when you’ve just had it in, the first time you get up and use it and – and show you how his body is a bit wobbly and you know, and all this type of thing. Because if people can see for themselves that it’s possible and it’s good, because you don’t know it is, because there’s nothing, I was given no information on how I should react to it” Winston (2)

“I spent … March, April, May, June, [mmm] not being able to do anything” Shirley (2)

“Well, I thought it was gonna be a nightmare but, I mean, I was on crutches [yeah]. I’m still on crutches, on one crutch, and, er, I’m still wearing a, a brace on my leg, when I’m outside walking round. Erm, but, obviously, the wife’s had to drive all the, all the time [yeah]. Erm, I haven’t been able to do things I want to do. Erm, I’m retired, but I did intend to carry on doing a few jobs for, you know, people that I know well [yeah]. Erm, so, basically, you know, it has stopped me doing a lot of the things that … I mean, I’d just retired two months before the operation, so I’ve not really enjoyed retirement, because I’ve been restricted in what I can do.” Peter (2)

“Oh the whole thing’s quite frightening but I mean I can be negative but my husband’s so negative I’m determined to not to be negative you know what I mean, I think I can’t put up with all of this.” Hilary (2)